1 Hour 55 minutes

Hillary Swank
Ashton Kutcher
Sarah Jessica Parker

I’m furious. New Year’s Eve, the sloppy romantic comedy with the all-star cast, is no way to launch the holiday movie season. Not unless Hollywood’s trying to make moviegoers stay home.

Lots of familiar faces go through the motions in this embarrassing drivel, that was obvious made strictly for the benefit of the Times Square chamber of commerce.

Aside from assembling a big name cast forced to speak silly dialogue, New Year’s Eve qualifies as a blatant waste of time, almost two hours worth. The picture poses such vital questions as will Sarah Jessica Parker permit her daughter Abigail Breslin to party on New Year’s eve?

you’ll have to look twice to recognize slightly dissipated Michelle Pfeiffer. But for her sake, it’s best not be associated with this dreadful picture. And will Jessica Biel give birth to the first New Year’s baby? When she tells her husband her water just broke, he replies, it’s too early, can you turn it off?

If there was only some way to turn the movie off. Before I went ahead and described New Year’s Eve as completely vapid, I checked the dictionary definition of a movie that’s boring and dull and deserving only one star.

It’s like I said: New Year’s Eve is no way to start the holiday movie season.